


Literature, Nutrition, and Law

by ThatOneKinkyBitch



Category: GOT7
Genre: -Ish, Alternate Universe - College/University, And Youngjae is, Angst, Asexual Character, Expect family names after first names, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Oh, Pining, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Some parents are just asses, Westernized, Yugyeom is ace, actually you know what, demisexual, this is CANADIANIZED
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-07-18 06:08:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16112435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneKinkyBitch/pseuds/ThatOneKinkyBitch
Summary: So what if his friends were hot, caring, and just all-around awesome? That was totally fine, it's nothing for Mark to stress over. His panicked gay ass?Absolutely not.At least that's what he tells himself.Mark, for all his fake cases and ability to interrogate someone in his sleep, didn't know how to even begin handling his feelings for certain Lit and Nutrition majors.If only he knew that pining would be theleastof his problems.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based off this [JinSon one shot!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16066421)

Stupid fucking  _contracts_.

"I can taste your anger, Mark; calm down before you break something."

Mark spun around in his desk chair to glare at his roommate. "Jaebum, unless  _you_ wanna be the broken thing, I'd keep it shut."

Jaebum scoffed at the empty threat, smugly sipping his water before responding with: "I'd love to see you  _try_." He set down his water on his own desk before fully turning to face Mark. "Besides, it's your fault for picking the hell major."

"Actually, I've heard that's art."

"Not medicine?"

"Have you met a single sane artist on this campus?"

"Touché," Jaebum amended. "Still, why'd you pick law? You don't seem the type."

Mark could only shrug as he tried to clear the thoughts of his fretting mother form his mind. "I was drawn to it," he lied expertly. "Everything except  _contracts_." A eat passed before Mark was huffing and crossing his arms. "You're a music major, you aren't allowed to whine at me."

"If anyone here is whining it's  _you_."

Before Mark could say something unnecessary, he turned back around and began typing away at his laptop. He'd love to be able to focus on the  _contracts_ \--yes, he would continue to say it like that until he got his goddamn degree--but a medley of memories of his mother kept stopping him from being productive. He sighed as he packed up his stuff, telling Jaebum he was heading to library. He didn't bother with a coat because it was still mid-September and that meant that winter wasn't there to grab him by the balls. It was cool enough, however, to give Mark a refreshing feeling in his lung as he left the dorm building.

When he made it inside the library he immediately headed for Jinyoung at his desk. He was talking to Mark's other friend, Jackson, and from the looks of it their conversation was quite interesting. He waited for Jackson to walk away before smiling at Jinyoung.

"Mark!" he whispered, face lighting up brighter than the LEDs shining above them.

"Hey," he softly greeted.

"How've you been? Jaebum texted me saying you're on a tirade about contracts." 

Mark was going to  _strangle_ that fucker. "Yeah, you know how law is; years of school for a lifetime of success."

"I think that only applies to medicine."

"Oh  _fuck you_ ," Mark laughed out quietly, content to just take in the sight of Jinyoung's soft smile. "So, talking to Jackson Wang, huh?" Jinyoung's small blush told him everything he needed to know. "You know he won't poke you with a fencing sword or whatever they're called if you ask him out."

"I don't have time for a boyfriend right now, Mark, you know that." 

And Mark  _did_ know that. It's why he's refrained from telling Jinyoung just how he felt for so long. Maybe that's weak, even cowardly, but how could he risk ruining a relationship so good with Jinyoung?

"Sure, but one day you'll be able to take him out. I hear he really likes coffee."

"You're his best friend, I sure hope you know what he likes."

The law major let out a loud laugh before exiting the library.

o.O.o

So Mark's in just a  _little_ bit of a pickle. Jackson, his best friend on the whole campus--please don't tell Jaebum that--was whining about just how hot his crush was.

Wasn't this  _high school_ bullshit? He tried to banish the thought as he sipped on his peppermint hot chocolate.

"Should I stop talking about him? I feel like I'm talking about him too much." 

Mark smiled genuinely at the boy in front of him as guilt ate at his conscience; had he really made Jackson feel he couldn't talk about his crush? What sort of shit-tier best friend did that?  _Him_ , apparently. "No, why would you think that? I can tell he makes you happy."

"Well  _you_ make me happy, but you don't seem me gushing about you to someone else."

"I..." How the hell was he supposed to handle that kind of information?

"But... you're sure? Cause boy do I have a story about this little shit head--"

And yeah, so what, Mark had to listen to Jackson go on and on about the guy he'd been giving heart eyes since his freshman year of university? Jackson's face lit up brighter than any Christmas tree in December when he recounted stories of Jinyoung. He'd just... he'd deal with it. Somehow.

Jackson soon waved goodbye to Mark once he finished his coffee, hugging Mark tightly before taking off to his next class. Warmth and longing filled Mark's heart at both the thought of the hug and Jackson's absence.

"Guess I'll just have to hang out with him more..." It was true; they didn't hang out nearly as much as they'd like to, but... missing Jackson? That was new. Something he was completely fine with, because this was his _best friend_ , but new nonetheless. Shaking off all muddled thoughts in his head, Mark headed back to his dorm for the day; blessed thing about classes at ass o'clock in the morning was that he got to relax until dinner some days.

He decided to just walk around the city instead of playing games on his computer on his bed; it was about to get crazy levels of cold soon, so he wanted to get all of the walks he could in. His phone buzzed in his pocket with a text from BamBam.

**_Crackhead #1_ **   
_Mark where the fuck are you?_

Mark decided to call BamBam as he walked.

"MARK!" He winced as the loud shout of his name rung through his earbuds.

"What is it, Bam?"

_"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO AN HOUR AGO!"_

Oh  _shit_.

Needless to say, Mark booked it to where he knew a seething BamBam was standing with a camera in his hands.

o.O.o

"I'm here!" he called once he made it into the room. His lungs were burning and stinging from running in the cold, but he was finally in the studio and that was what mattered.

"Oh my god where have you  _been_!?" BamBam screeched. Yugyeom waved from a stool in the corner, no doubt called by his boyfriend in a panic.

"If I say 'having coffee with Jackson', will you  _actually_ murder me?"

Before BamBam can let loose whatever retort is on his tongue, Yugyeom is wrapping his slightly toned arms around the former. "Bam, don't."

Almost magically, all of the tension from BamBam's shoulders seeped out of him, replaced with tired acceptance. "Okay I still have this studio for an hour, so you better get into what I gathered for you and  _get the fuck to it._ "

Mark gave a sarcastic salute before slipping behind the clothing rack and changing into the outfit laid out for him by BamBam. As he was pulling on the jacket, he heard his name fall from Yugyeom's lips in a soft whisper, as well as Jackson's. Were they genuinely hung up on the fact that he had been having coffee with him? It wasn't a secret they were close; what the hell was the big deal?

"He's fucking  _oblivious_ , Yugyeom!"

"Keep your voice down."

Mark tuned out after that.  _What the hell is going on_ _?_ He walked out anyway, showing off the clothes BamBam clearly put in some time to choose.

"Ugh, I finally remember why I picked you; you look fucking good in  _everything_ and you're all sharp angles--Gah! This is going to be so good!"

"It's like I'm not even here..." Yugyeom muttered.

BamBam turned to him with a soft and genuine smile before kissing his lips gently. "Mark is hot, even you can admit that."

"I mean I can  _presume_ he is--"

"And I'm the one that's delaying the shoot," Mark teased lightly. The look he got from BamBam told him it was  _not_ received that way.

"IF YOU HAD BEEN HERE AN HOUR AGO WE COULD'VE--" He cut himself off this time, glaring at Mark as he raised his camera up to take a picture. "You're lucky you're pretty, Tuan."

"Oh I know."


	2. Chapter 2

Living with Mark was... an experience. He wasn't a bad roommate by any means. He did the dishes when it was his turn, he helped pay for groceries, and he even made sure to clear out when he and Youngjae wanted some time for just the two of them. It was just that... seeing him pine after two different people who were into  _each other_ was like watching a chicken trying to fly; sad and a little amusing. Youngjae has been keeping track of all three of them intently, telling about how many times Jackson and Jinyoung can make each other blush in the span of ten minutes. But his roommate's strange love triangle aside, right in that moment he was trying to help Youngjae with his composition homework.

"You can't think too hard about it," he explained as he placed his head on top of his boyfriend's. "Music should never be a chore.

"It's not," Youngjae spat, "until it's  _homework_."

A laugh rumbled from Jaebum's chest, which Youngjae supposed was plus, but he still had to write a stupid song in two days. "You can do this, Jae, I believe in you."

"I'm glad one of us does."

The older completely disregarded his comment. "You want to order in for dinner?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Lebanese?"

"That sounds good." Jaebum left the room to go call the place down the street. "Hey, should I start the song with a syncopated rhythm?"

"I can't tell you how to write your song, Youngjae!"

He could only groan miserably as his head hit the desk in front of him.

Two hours later and only ten bars of music later, Youngjae decided to call it quits and join Jaebum on the couch.

"You know your food is probably cold by now, right?"

"I can't believe I put off food for jackshit," Youngjae huffed. "Is the microwave fixed?"

"No."

Youngjae kind of wanted to cry. "I can't even write a song and I punished myself with cold food?" he asked, voice sour with disappointment.

"Youngjae," Jaebum chastised, "you're not as bad at this as you seem to think; you're human, being creative takes time."

"You can write--"

"Stop comparing yourself to me." The older of the two sighed as he patted the spot next to him on the couch. Youngjae, tired and in need of cuddles, immediately shot over. "No two people are the same. Just because I'm above standard doesn't make you  _bad_."

"But--"

"Nope, shut it." Jaebum felt Youngjae pout against his shoulder, but no further protests came about so Jaebum counted it as a win. "I love you, 'Jae."

"Mm..." Young murmured tiredly. "Love y'too."

o.O.o

"Bam,  _no_."

"Bam,  _yes_!"

Yugyeom pinched the bridge of his nose, sending his boyfriend as many daggers as he could with his soft eyes. "You are  _not_ going to meddle with Mark's, Jinyoung's,  _or Jackson's_ love life."

"By the time I'm done with them their love lives will be one-- _Hey_!"

Yugyeom had snatched his boyfriend's phone from his hands, successfully conveying just how displeased he was with the whole situation. "Mark is going to  _kill you_ if you so much as mention him to Jinyoung or Jackson. Jinyoung will rip  _me_ a new one for even knowing you, and Jackson will give me that disappointed dad look!"

"One, Jackson isn't capable of anything but love and affection, and two, Mark would kill me for giving him a bagel."

"Only one of those things is true."

BamBam sighed. "And we both know which." He lied back on his bed, staring up at the popcorn ceiling of his bedroom. "I just... Mark's so  _sad_ around Jinyoung, and he doesn't even know how fucking whipped he is for Jackson."

"He definitely pines after Jinyoung," Yugyeom agreed, "but I think he just rally values Jackson as a friend."

"You're kidding, right?" BamBam fully sat up to lock eyes with the boy in front of him. "It's not the first time he's prioritized Jackson over any of us; you remember when Youngjae needed Mark to buy food for Coco because the store closed soon, but Jackson needed his fencing equipment so Mark drove  _to_ Jackson for the key and  _back_ to his apartment, and then  _back to Jackson_! He's fucking whipped! He literally didn't buy food for his dog _because_ he's so whipped!"

Yugyeom recoiled a little. "I dunno... It seems more like something out of a story than something that would happen in real life."

"Polyamorous people are more common than you'd think."

"That may be, but do you think they, of all people, could make it work well enough to last?"

It was a question neither of them were brave enough to answer.

See the thing about Mark is that he would stuff every emotion he ever had down until he had no choice but to let them out in a flurry of crying and shouting. It wasn't healthy by any means, but to try and change Mark Tuan was like trying to make a mountain move; it wasn't gonna happen. So, BamBam tried his best to work around the stubbornness, though even that was proving to be a fruitless endeavor. 

"Maybe we really should just leave it be, Bam," Yugyeom pressed. "I don't want to force what we want on them and damage the friendship they're happy with."

"If you think I'm going to quit, you don't know me well at all and deserve to have your boyfriend title revoked."

Yugyeom arched a brow as he kissed the spot just below his boyfriend's hairline. "I don't think you'll do any such thing; I just thought I'd try and convince you one last time."

"Points for effort, babe."

o.O.o

Jinyoung threw his bag onto the floor, mind completely somewhere else as he found his way to the bathroom. Something was...  _off_ about Mark that day; he seemed oddly distant, and even with his usually aloof manner, Jinyoung picked up on it. He liked to think that showed how weird Mark was acting instead of how attentive Jinyoung was to how he acted. He wanted to ask about it, but with Mark that line of questioning often went fucking nowhere.

Along with the thoughts of Mark came thoughts of Jackson, and suddenly Jinyoung's heart was fluttering and lighting up. Maybe it was cheesy, sure, but Jackson was just good personified. His smile lit up the room, along with his loving energy--not that Jinyoung was one to believe in things like spirits and auras, it was just the only way to describe him--and Jinyoung didn't know what to do except flirt with him endlessly. He supposed it was a great defense for how much Jackson actually affect his cool composure, but part of the fun was to see him get irked with Jinyoung's comments.

Needless to say, he was into Jackson, he just didn't know how to project such things.

His screen lit up with a call from Mark as he was getting his face cleanser ready.

"Hey," he greeted.

 _"Hey, Jinnie_."

For some odd, inexplicable reason, Jinyoung's chest filled with warmth. "You okay?"

_"Yeah! Just... I dunno, I wanted to hear your voice."_

"Mark," he admonished.

 _"Okay, class sucked and I really missed you_."

"Then why not just come over?"

_"I always think I'm a nuisance to you?"_

Jinyoung's hands froze in place at the words; of course they were said in jest, but Jinyoung knew the weight behind them. "Why would you think that?"

_"Don't give me therapy, Jinyoung."_

_Right_ , Jinyoung thought _, he's even more emotionally constipated than I am._ "Well, I hereby give you permission to come over."

_"I don't wanna--"_

"I'm not giving you a damn choice. If you don't march your skinny ass over here I'm never making you hot cocoa ever again."

 _"You'd never_."

A smile danced on Jinyoung's lips. "You wanna bet me money on that, Tuan?"

_"Oh my god, I'll be there in fifteen minutes you tyrant."_

Jinyoung grinned as he finished up his skin care routine and waited for Mark. He should probably address why he was so eager to have Mark around, but whatever. That was a friend thing to do, right?

Shrugging it off, Jinyoung started bustling about his small kitchen to make Mark a cup of hot cocoa. It was cold out and he knew it was a treat the elder enjoyed to warm himself back up. He had a handful of the strawberry marshmallows Mark adored so much in his cupboard, so while the milk was heating up on the stove he split up the squished ones the the presentable ones. Mark, for all his skinny stature and lean muscles, ate like a pig and was willing to just eat the marshmallows how they were, so Jinyoung made sure to at least give him the nice-looking ones. If he was going to clog up his friend's arteries, might as well do it neatly.

Soon a knock was ringing from his door as Jinyoung plopped the marshmallows in the cup.

"Yo," Mark called.

"I  _knew_ you had that spare key," Jinyoung muttered to himself. Shrugging the thought off, Jinyoung presented the cocoa to Mark with a soft smile. "You okay?"

"With this drink? How could I not be?"

Jinyoung laughed softly as he grabbed Mark's coat to hang it up on the small clothes tree in the corner. "Alright there, smartass, just sit your ass down."

"Thanks, babe."

Jinyoung froze at the nickname. "And here I thought your heart boner lied with Jackson Wang."

"I love these marshmallows too much to throw them at you, but know that I'm  _very tempted_ ," Mark glowered.

"Stop giving me petnames and we won't have to find out if you will."

Mark rolled his eyes as he sipped his cocoa in peace; smart move.

"You wanna talk about it?"

A sigh came from the man on the couch. "You know I don't."

"I thought it was worth a shot."

"You say that every time, and yet here we are."

"Stop making it sound like you're some lost hope."

"We both know that's exactly what I am."

Jinyoung had a small feeling he knew exactly what was wrong with his friend. "You're the only one that seems to think that."

Mark spat out a bitter, sarcastic laugh. "If only I was."


	3. Chapter 3

Jackson was smarter than people gave him credit for. He wasn't exactly top of his class, but he managed to keep his grades pretty high while still being as present as he could with his sports. (People will hate on fencing and say it isn't a sport,  _it's a club ,_but Jackson would love to see them last longer than a minute with him.) Fencing hate aside, he's perceptive as all fuck, so he's picked up on how...  _odd_ Mark was acting. And it was only when the two were alone, nothing happened when Jaebum or BamBam were in the room. So that meant one of two things; one, Jackson had done something horrible and unforgiveable to Coco, or...

"Mark likes me."

Jaebum looked up from his notebook with a blank expression. "We been knew."

"Please never say that again," Jackson murmured with disgust.

"Glad we're on the same page." Jaebum set his book aside. "But seriously, it seems you're the only one aware of anything.  _At all_."

"Huh?"

Before Jaebum could finish explaining his words, Youngjae was walking in with plates of food for both him and Jaebum. "What he means is that he's tired and shouldn't be commenting on business that isn't his."

"When my roommate is walking around sulking with heart eyes, it most certainly becomes my business."

Youngjae sighed as he turned to Jackson. "What are you going to do?"

"I dunno, nothing? He likes me, that's something he should say first."

"Well, don't you wanna get that awkwardness out of the way?" Youngjae pressed.

"What? I'm just pushing back the awkwardness."

"You... don't like him back?"

"No?"

Even Youngjae's jaw went a little slack at Jackson's words. "You... oh my god, Jaebum--"

"I  _know_ ," his boyfriend stressed.

"What is going on with you two?" Jackson was lost, to say the least.

"Nothing," Youngjae quickly pressed, voice high with fake confidence. "We're really sorry, Jackson, but would you mind going back to your own apartment?"

"Oh that's just rude--"

"Youngjae has a vibe up his ass, and I don't think you wanna be here--"

"OH FUCK YOU GUYS!" In the blink of an eye Jackson was gone.

"You  _really_ had to say  _that_ for him to leave?" Youngjae spat.

"Hey, no one's used to you talking about sex, it's a great weapon against intruders."

"Did you just use my demisexuality against me?"

Jaebum smiled softly and kissed Youngjae's nose gently. "I'd never."

"Yeah, yeah," Youngjae muttered with a roll of his eyes. "No more lying about sex."

"Aye aye, Captain."

o.O.o

Mark wrapped his jacket tightly around himself as he trekked back to his apartment. He left before Jinyoung could be the angel he is and offer Mark breakfast, but now his stomach was bitching at him for it. It wasn't that he didn't  _want_ to stay, it's just... he couldn't. All the memories of Jackson's gushing came back to haunt him and suddenly Jinyoung was a forbidden fruit he didn't ask to be.

Speaking of.

"Mark, don't go in there."

He huffed as he gave Jackson a tired look. "Jacks, really not the time--"

"You. Don't. Want. To. Go. In. There." 

Something in Jackson's eyes told Mark everything he needed to know. "I see."

"You wanna go somewhere? Neither of us have classes."

Mark smiled softly as he nodded. "Yeah, sure, that sounds good."

As they walked, Jackson felt compelled to just...  _look_ at Mark. Nothing special really, just sort of take him in. To say Mark was beautiful would be an understatement; he had sharp lines forming the shape of his face, gentle eyes that had just as much potential to kill someone as they did to make them feel loved. His nose was prominent, yet not so mcuh so that it took away from the rest of his face; it was what amplified that hybrid of boyish charm and adult suaveness. His hair, almost always changing in colour, appeared to be holding on to its last bit of strength that gave it an effortlessly messy look. He certainly wasn't built, nowhere near to Jackson's own stature, but there was a hidden strength laying dormant. Mark was just very selective about where to use it. Jackson's eyes slowly dragged up to Mark's lips and felt himself warm up a little, despite the cold trying to nip at his skin through all of his layers.

Whoever dated Mark would have a god for a boyfriend, that was all Jackson could say.

"Look! The arcade is open!" Mark spun around with stars in his eyes. "Can we go? Please?"

Jackson really couldn't fight the fondness in his heart screaming  _give his man the world, dammit_. "Of course we'll go, goddamn game junkie."

Mark wasn't even sticking around long enough to hear the taunt because he was taking off down the street towards the arcade. It was hard to find buildings that were purely arcades lately, so Jackson didn't have the heart to turn Mark down on that premise alone. He decided to shove the fact that Mark's smile made his heart flutter.

When Jackson finally caught up to Mark, tokens were being shoved into his hand and he was being dragged to the first game.

o.O.o

They bought a round of tokens twice more, but Jackson had just resigned himself to the fact that he'd never seen Mark so giddy. Now that's not to say that Mark didn't throw a handful of fits, it's just that Jackson was quick to bring him back to Earth.

"We should go home," Jackson reasoned.

Mark sighed softly, almost contemplating as he looked at the sky; the lovely light cyan was darkening and shifting into something warmer, more orange. "Do we have to?"

"Yes, but I feel like you don't want to hear that."

"We can't stay out a little longer? Like we used to?"

Jackson resisted the urge to let out a frustrated sigh, because  _ugh_ , he was so whipped for this guy. "Fine. We'll even go to our little tree, how's that?"

The elder lost his eager sparkle, turning into fond happiness as he nodded minutely. "I'd love that."

Their tree, atop a hill just outside the city, was a place where they'd always hang out together when they were kids. It meant a lot to them, because in all of their years of being friends, no one else had managed to find it; or at least be there at the same time as them, but Mark liked to believe it was truly their spot and theirs alone. Once they turned sixteen though, thoughts of the morphed from running around and being silly to dreams of peppered kisses.

Yeah, Mark's been stuffing this all down for a  _long_ time.

"Where's your head at?"

Mark's eyes snapped to Jackson as they continued walking, making a confused noise in lieu of words.

"You're really distracted lately; what's on your mind?"

"My dad's being my dad." Oh well shit, he wasn't supposed to say that. No one was supposed to know what was going on with Mark; no one needed that extra burden.

Immediately, Jackson stopped walking as concern bloomed in his dark eyes. "What?"

"Nothing, Jacks--"

"Oh,  _bullshit_ ," he glowered.

"Jackson,  _drop it_."

And this was always where they butted heads. Jackson was stubborn beyond words, just as Mark was quick to snap and shut down any further questions. It was inevitable that with personalities that meshed so well together, there would be a point where they clashed horribly; this was one of those moments. "Mark, bottling shit up doesn't help you."

"I've gotten this far, haven't I?"

Scoffing in disbelief, Jackson let himself go lax. "You... you're unbelievable."

"Glad we're on the same page."

"Mark, I'm your best friend, I'm just worried about you."

It was the wrong thing to say. They both knew it. Jackson regretted the words as soon as they fell from his lips and Mark flinched as if they hurt more than the wisps of wind swiping at his cheek. "Right. You're my best friend."

"Mark--"

"You always were smart, Jacks."

And he was gone. They didn't go to their tree, and he refused to pick up his  _damn phone_. As much as Jackson wanted to go after him, he wouldn't. He had to respect Mark's need to be alone, but... if he was being honest with himself, he wanted to just hug Mark; hold him close and just let him know that Jackson loved him while he kissed his nose--

"Oh,  _fuck_."


	4. Chapter 4

Jackson had been tense whenever he smiled at him; it was subtle, but years of knowing the guy made it easy for Mark to tell when he was uncomfortable. It was a long shot, assuming Jackson knew about his feelings. That look of guilt, though, that just dragged down Jackson's entire stance--Mark wanted nothing to do with it. He really should tell him, straightforward so there's no risk of miscommunication. He would ask Jaebum what he thought, but he knew the answer:

_"Just fucking tell him, you royal ass."_

So, with a deep inhale to just maybe quell his nerves, Mark picked up his phone and sent Jackson a text.

_**Me:** Hey, I'm really sorry for just storming off yesterday. You mind if I come over and just talk it out?_

A reply came almost instantly.

_**Jacks** : can't, i got fencing_

Jackson didn't have fencing; every year, it ran on Fridays at six.

It was a fucking Monday at four.

The lie struck something awful in Mark, old thoughts starting to bubble back up to the surface. He shook his head and tired his best to expel the thoughts from his mind, but he couldn't help but beat himself up over what he'd done. He had hoped that maybe he read Jackson wrong, that maybe his crush on Jackson was still hidden from the man himself--that obviously wasn't the case. He really had to go and catch feelings for his best friend, who, to Mark's knowledge, had only dated girls in the past; it wasn't a complete indicator of Jackson's sexuality, but it was enough to tell Mark that he had little to no chance.

"Goddammit..."

He didn't have the courage to confront Jackson; more specifically didn't have the courage to let himself be vulnerable like that. He just hoped he didn't develop any sort of self destructive habit.

o.O.o

Jinyoung had to leave for about two weeks, so he was writing a note for Jackson. It was cheesy, yeah, and it's more than likely to be lost and left for somebody else to find, but he also thought it was cute and worth a try. He poured just a little of his heart out, trying to convey just how nicely Jackson made his heart sing while not coming off as creepy. Most importantly, he wanted Jackson to know how he felt and have some time to think it over before Jinyoung came back.

A knock came from Jinyoung's door, which was a little confusing seeing as Jinyoung had never taken back the spare key from Mark.

"It's open!"

He expected maybe Jaebum to walk in, going off about how if he wanted to be a dad we would have adopted instead of heaving to deal with Yugyeom and BamBam as often as he did, or even Youngjae with a pout, whining about his homework,  _again_ , but it was Jackson.

He looked a little frayed at the edges, stressed beyond words with bags sitting heavy under his eyes.

"Now how in the fuck did you get my address?"

"Asked Jaebum," he muttered.

Jinyoung raised one perfect eyebrow at the man in front of him. "You look awful."

"Glad to know my feelings translate well to my looks."

It was an awful time to laugh, Jinyoung knew, but he couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped through his nose. Jackson didn't take offence, simply smiling tiredly as he gestured to the couch. "Mind if I ask you for some advice, wise old man?"

"You're literally older than me."

"Hush."

Jinyoung sat with Jackson on the couch, waiting with ever-present patience as the boy gathered his thoughts.

"So... this guy likes me."

Oh for fuck's sake.

Jinyoung tried to shield his panic, tried to not think of all the ways this could go horribly--

"And we talk a lot, you know? And he didn't tell me directly, but you can see it in the way he acts, and there's people that have basically confirmed--"

"It sounds like you're going off a lot of guesses." Jinyoung applauded himself in his head for keeping a steady voice.

"But--"

"And it sounds like you could be risking a perfectly good friendship over nothing."

Jackson shook his head. "The worst part is, I think I like him too."

Jinyoung wanted to scream; just give him a name, dammit, so he could figure this thing out. "Oh?"

"But... I can't. I don't have it in me."

What? " _What_? He likes you, you like him, it seems simple to me."

"I've never...  _had_ feelings like that for someone before. And I don't want to lead Mark on--"

Jinyoung refused to believe that for a second. "You've had girlfriends, Jackson."

"You're completely right, but there's something about Mark that's different. I don't know how to explain it. I've had crushes, for sure, and I think that's why I let myself get into relationships. But I've been thinking about how Mark makes me feel, and how much I love the idea of just holding his hand and just--they make my crushes obsolete, you know?"

"Oh." It's really all Jinyoung could bring himself to say.

"Yeah. I dunno. I should probably go talk to Mark, right?:

"Uh--yeah--you do that."

"Alright." Jackson stood up, seemingly bursting with newfound energy. "Oh, and I should probably tell you; I did have a crush on you for a little bit; I wanted to tell you but I didn't wanna make you feel awkward or anything."

Jinyoung barely stringed together a "yeah don't worry about it" before Jackson was leaving his apartment and leaving Jinyoung to cry.

 _God_ he was so  _stupid_. Of course Jackson didn't actually have feelings for him--nothing compared to Mark. They talked almost everyday and were able to tease each other back and forth because  _yeah_ , that's what  _friends do_. They're  _friends_. Jinyoung just let himself get too invested,  _again_ , and ended up getting hurt, fucking  _again_. He laughed at himself through the tears, because  _wow_ , he really was just a fucking moron, huh? 

He looked at the note sitting on the table, taunting him with the little heart drawn in the corner of the page. He didn't have the heart to throw it out, because those feelings  _did_ still exist... but he also didn't want to hold it in his hands. He left it there, deciding to just pack his bags to go see his sister and go to bed.

 


End file.
